I am committed to a caring and engaged practice – providing the highest quality professional services to the individuals with whom I work.

I imagine that perhaps your biggest concern right now is not finding the best therapist, so much as the right therapist for you. Research, common sense and experience has proven that the key to any successful therapy. is the relationship between the individual, or couple, and the therapist. I think that ultimately it will be in the relationship we create together that the actual therapy will take place and bear itself out. I use humor as a means of looking at and exploring concerns. Humor offers us a particular objectivity and ownership of difficult issues. It brings the momentary relief to continue towards resolve. While I do not spend a lot of time on one’s past, I do believe, past relationships create the templates for current relationships, and can be useful to explore simply for this reason. For the most part I stay focused on what is going on for the individual in the present. I try to reveal what I am thinking or considering about the individuals’ situation or circumstances.  I offer individuals examples from my clinical practice as well as my own life. That isn’t to say I burden or share the hour, but I relate. People often ask me how I can stand listening to people’s problems all day and I tell them I don’t. I honestly believe I share people’s experiences, and the fact that I share some of these, reminds me that we are both humans sitting in this room, striving for similar things, and that we are not alone.

Individual Psychotherapy

I base my work with individuals in the relationship we co-create, one in which together we articulate and sort out the concerns about your life and relationships. While it’s not a fully balanced relationship (nor should it be), it is nevertheless a mutual, and collaborative relationship which holds meaning, growth and importance for both of us. While I’m tempted to say it is a unique relationship, it is more of a natural relationship, within which I help individuals verbalize and make known their intentions, hopes, and plans for change.

Couples Counseling

Couples therapy offers individuals the unique opportunity to learn about themselves and their partner by working collaboratively to build and experience a better relationship. I help couples to recognize what their interactions mean to each other individually, i.e., separate and regardless of the other, and as well as a couple. By doing this couples can learn to understand the other so as to not personalize, or misinterpret each other’s underlying intentions and move beyond habitual patterns, reactions.

Adolescents

In my work with adolescents, my focus is on helping young people recognize and integrate healthy self esteem, especially in relationships with peers, friends, and as they consider dating and more significant relationships. I feel that all relationships, especially dating, require learned social skills, a strong sense of one’s self and a capacity to make good choices. I emphasize developing study skills, preparing for college, and working towards the maturity required to be an independent young adult. I also try and introduce practical living skills for students preparing to leave home: conflict resolution, negotiating boundaries with peers and intimates, as well with adults seen in authority (i.e., teachers, employers, parents and parents of friends).

Much of my role with adolescents is to be their advocate. I work with parents individually around parenting issues, as well as meeting with, and facilitating meaningful dialogues between parents and children/adolescents. My experience has been that I connect very well with both parents and adolescents and have a natural sense of their developmental complexities. I believe it is through relationships that young people learn to form, and communicate, their emotional needs and experiences and, are able to proceed towards more authentic and efficacious living.

Men’s Issues

In my practice, I am interested in the complexities of male depression and the difficulties men have with risking intimacy and forming meaningful relationships. As a man, I understand the challenges of being a man and the difficulty finding a suitable place and individual to explore these challenges. Men often suffer from depression that they either can’t articulate, or move from; and yet try using anger, emotional withdrawal, or drugs and alcohol, and these solutions can negatively effect confidence and ability to succeed. While it’s useful to explore how we feel, we need to be asked what we will do, how we will do it, and some useful suggestions to go about doing it. As men we want solutions with career, relationships, family, children and individual identity. We have a lot riding on these things and we often times can’t let this show with the people in our lives—certainly not before we have a handle on it. Some times we just need another guy, another man, and a professional. I’m sensitive, caring and understanding, but I’m also intelligent, humorous and direct.

I believe it is through intimate relationships that men learn to reconnect with, and communicate, their emotional needs and experiences and are able to relieve their depression. I believe too in the importance and balance of the male perspective.

Clinical supervision

In the last few years I have begun supervising Marriage and Family Therapist Interns, prior to licensure. My approach has been collegial, supportive, and collaborative. I encourage Interns to develop themselves and their own sensibilities in the on-going learning and practice of psychotherapy, especially to question and examine the particular givens of therapy in order to take ownership of their place and understanding within the field.

Introducing Therapy/Therapy 101

I have recently developed Introducing Therapy, with my colleague, James Orlando, Marriage and Family Therapist, a psycho-educational and experiential approach to help individuals chose whether psychotherapy is right for them. This idea came about because in our practices, we have encountered many individuals s coming to psychotherapy for the first time do not have an understanding and overview of what psychotherapy is, or what it is they are engaging in. Psychotherapy, like any meaningful, and potentially life-changing endeavor, requires an overview and understanding of the process in order to get the most out of it. Introducing Therapy is our attempt to change this and improve the process by which individuals arrive at understanding if psychotherapy is right for them. It is our intention to not only educate you about psychotherapy, but to help prepare individuals to make a more informed choice and ultimately, a better use of therapy. Our intention is to develop structured opportunities that will both inform and let individuals experience what psychotherapy is like, and if it is useful for their growth and change.

Introducing Therapy currently offers two unique opportunities to learn more about talk therapy.

Talk Therapy 101 is an opportunity to talk with a licensed Psychotherapist about the ins and outs of psychotherapy. During your meeting, the therapist will answer any questions you may have and guide you through the basics of psychotherapy; such as: What is therapy? How does talk therapy work? Can psychotherapy be helpful for me? How do I choose a therapist? At the end of your session we will help you access whether psychotherapy is right for you, give direction as to how to find a psychotherapist, and provide you with our resource guide that includes the basics of psychotherapy, choosing a therapist, and the various approaches used by many psychotherapists. (50 minutes)

Experiential Talk Therapy 101 is an opportunity to learn about psychotherapy and have an introductory therapy session. This a three part experiential process. Initially you will meet with a therapy coach (who is also a licensed psychotherapist) who will explain the nature of how psychotherapy works and prepare you for your session. Next you will meet with a psychotherapist to have a psychotherapy session. After your introductory session you will meet again with the therapy coach to explore how the experience worked for you, whether therapy is right for you, and what the next steps are.

(Three 50-minute sessions)

Therapy Shopping Support and Coaching Services: Finding the right therapist can be difficult. Psychotherapy is an expensive investment and worth every penny if you can find the right fit. That is why we have developed a coaching and support service dedicated toward assisting you on your journey to find the right therapist. Our support and coaching services are for individuals who know they are ready to start psychotherapy. We will take you through the process of clarifying your goals and selecting three therapists to interview. During this, we will help you examine your experience and assist you in deciding which therapist you would like to work with.

One 50-minute office consultation 3-15 minute telephone coaching sessions, One 50-minute in-office process session after your three psychotherapy sessions.

Appointments and Fees for Introducing Therapy

• Talk therapy 101: $125
• Talk therapy 101 with a Psychotherapy Session: $375
• TSCS: $375 plus therapy sessions

Optional follow up sessions vary depending on need

For more information see www.IntroducingTherapy.info

I will be starting, “Turning the Corner Together,” a support group for Men going through Separation and Divorce, beginning Thursday, July 1^st from 7pm to 9pm, through September 2^nd. I will be charging $50.00 per session. Depending on need and/or momentum, the group may transition into an on-going, weekly support group.

Nature of Group

Men struggle with very specific losses with separation and divorce. Often times being the sole provider, and focused on career, men are absent from the core of family life, and haven’t developed the skills of child-rearing, domestic life, or maintaining social connectedness. As a result men can feel inadequate, and alienated. While marriage provided security and a sense of identity, it also allowed the individual man to neglect particular areas of personal growth that he may now be forced to face, such as rebuilding his life and identity as a single individual or parent. “Turning The Corner Together” offers emotional support, the ability to express feelings and concerns, and to share experiences about divorce and separation.

Issues to be discussed:

• Grieving the loss of security, life plan, family: What does/will life look like for me?
• Feeling like a failure: am I really the person my ex thinks I am?
• Parenting: What do I do with my kid(s)?
• Co-parenting with ex-partner: How can we stay on the same page for our children?
• Dealing with ex-partners: the constant pink elephant.
• Financial and legal stresses.
• Rebuilding identity as a single person: who am I apart from my marriage?
• Rebuilding social context and networks
• Dating and relationships after separation and divorce.
• Forgiveness.

men’s divorce group

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My San Francisco office is conveniently located at 1902 Webster Street, between Pine and California, in Pacific Heights, near the upper Fillmore District. My office is in a beautiful Edwardian professional building. The door code to enter is: 4.2.3, after which you will go to the waiting area. Once in the waiting area, find my name on the panel with the other therapists in the building and push the button beside my name which will light up. For our initial visit, I will come down to greet you, show you where the bathroom is, and bring you into my office. For our successive visits, after pushing the button beside my name, wait until the light goes off and then come on up to my office where I will be waiting for you.

I am easily accessible by public transportation, and street parking is available.

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My Menlo Park office is located at 1220 University Drive, suite 104, in the University Gardens Building, between Oak Grove and Valperiza. My suite is the on the first floor, the first suite to the right after you enter the building. Find my name on the panel of names above the water cooler, and push the button beside my name. The button will light up, and I will come and get you at our appointment time.

My office is located four blocks from a cal trans station, as well as major bus lines that run along the El Camino. There is also parking along the street in front of the building, and there are shops, restaurants and cafes only a few blocks away.

How to begin

You may initially call or send me an email, giving me a sense of what’s bringing you to therapy.  I understand that in the initial contact, individuals are often trying to determine if I am the right therapist for them, and thus suggest a phone conversation to help begin this process. Feel free to inquire about my services, availability, experience, fees and even whether psychotherapy is appropriate for you, your child, or for you and your partner. I am more than happy to answer these questions, as well as questions about psychotherapy, or other services and/or practitioners that may be better suited to your needs. I enjoy what I do, as well as the field of psychotherapy and, quite honestly, love to talk shop.

During our initial conversation I will want to hear why you are seeking psychotherapy at this time, and what you hope to get out of this experience.  In doing this, it is my hope we will gather enough of a sense of each other to decide whether an initial session is appropriate. In this first session it will be important for me to fully understand the nature of your visit, the circumstances surrounding it—including your existing strengths, interests, and your current coping strategies. I will also want to know a bit about your background, prior experience in therapy, and whether the experience was useful or not. We will discuss the ways in which we can work toward improving your circumstances and grow as a result. All the while we will be continuing to see if we are a good match working together.

How I work

While the relationship between therapist and patient is a professional relationship, meant to protect and serve both of us to the ends of improving your life and circumstances, the therapeutic relationship is a unique one and may serve as an experiential lab for other significant relationships. Every course of therapy is unique, based on the synergy of patient, therapist, and the dynamics and scope of the relationship they co-create. In this respect, every therapy is a creative and collaborative co-creation. As we may be looking at how your family and early relational experiences may have shaped your current relational style, I encourage you to consider and clarify the meaning, or implications, our relationship may have throughout our work together. Ultimately this may help you in your interactions and intimacy with others.

What to expect

The length of therapy is determined collaboratively, yet with you leading the decision making process. I will track the course of therapy to the best of my abilities, and will offer my input as to where I see it, yet maintaining a collaborative manner. I respect that you are the greater expert on you. Some therapies last a matter of weeks, some months, some years, and some even go indeterminately—not due to dependency, lack of direction, or entrapment by the therapist, but because being in therapy, having that place and that relationship with which to examine and process one’s life feels meaningful and of value to the individual. If though, for instance, we disagree at anytime—whether on the length, or at any other junctures, I will suggest we talk about it and perhaps agree to disagree. But ultimately, I will respect that you are the greater expert on you and honor and respect your choices.

If at any time you decide to end or take a break from our therapy I request that we discuss this first so that each of us has a clear understanding of this decision. I am respectful of individual’s choices, but given the nature of our work, and relationship, this type of discussion would be of benefit to patient as well as therapist. If I do not hear from you longer than a week without prior discussion I will try to contact you. If I am not successful after 2-3 tries, I will consider you’ve decided to end our therapy and hope to hear from you in the future. If it seems appropriate I may try and contact you through a letter, or, at least, email.

Office Policies and Fees

Appointments are typically weekly, and 50 minutes long, unless otherwise agreed upon. For longer sessions I charge a pro-rated fee based upon our agreed upon session fee. My current fee range is: $120.00-$140.00, based upon experience and overhead. I understand that due to finances and circumstances one may only be able to meet every other week. While I am open to this, I generally like to initially meet weekly until we have reasonably established a sense of our work together. If we do not have a regular time, or if we need to re-schedule an appointment, I schedule individuals on a first-come-first-serve basis.

Sliding scale fees are available depending on income or current circumstances, but would need to be discussed before determining. My sliding-scale time-slots are limited, and I may have to ask you to take a less popular time slot, such as morning or mid-day.

I require 24 hour notice for a cancellation of any appointment or scheduling changes. This means the full fee will be charged for sessions missed without prior 24-hour notification.  Rescheduling appointments also requires 24 hour notice, however in emergencies or unforeseeable circumstances I will try and provide you with another time slot if it is possible.

If you are running more than five minutes for an appointment please call or text, and let me know, and whether you will be keeping our appointment. I generally wait ten minutes before calling and/or twenty minutes before considering the session missed, and may at that time leave the office. From time to time I may run a few moments late, but usually make it up on the other end of the hour.

Fees can be paid at each session, monthly, or in advance, depending on convenience and practicality. I can provide you with a billing statement if needed. I accept checks or cash. I am currently applying to be on select insurance panels, but in the meantime I can provide a monthly statement for you to present to your insurance carrier for reimbursement, which has worked for other patients in the past.

I check voicemail two times daily and more often when I am in the office. In general I try to keep phone communication to scheduling and/or brief questions and concerns. However, from time to time check-ins, or “touching base” may be necessary—and, is appropriate. Although if this becomes frequent, or it appears necessary for us to talk more often, I will suggest an additional session during the week, or some type of similar arrangement.

It may be necessary for me to consult with other professionals you may be seeing, such as psychiatrists, medical doctors and/or other psychotherapists , such as a couples therapist, to gain a greater appreciation or insight into our work. Before doing so, I would discuss the matter with you and have you sign a waiver for me to speak with these other professionals. If this consultation takes longer than 20 minutes, I may charge you a pro-rated portion of my fee for my time.

When I am out of town for a short time, I check my voice mail daily, and do return calls. If I am gone any longer than five days, I will provide an on-call professional whom I know and respect and whose skills as a therapist I fully trust.

In cases of non-threatening emergency, or crisis you may feel free to contact me. If, for some reasons I am not able to speak I will call you back at my soonest availability. If you are suicidal, I will take whatever steps are necessary towards ensuring your safety, including suggesting hospitalization, contacting the police or family and friends, or going to you directly if it is possible.

All information you discuss with me is confidential and may not be revealed to anyone without your prior written permission, except where disclosure is required. I am mandated by law to disclose information in the following circumstances: 1) where there is reasonable suspicion of child or elder abuse, 2) where there is reasonable suspicion of that a client presents a danger and/or violence to others, 3) where a client is likely to harm him or herself unless protective measures are taken. Disclosure may also be required pursuant to a legal proceeding.

Reading is a very valuable adjunct to the process of psychotherapy. In my practice with patients I often offer book suggestions to compliment the issues we are covering, as well as to keep the individual(s) engaged in the process outside of therapy. In addition, reading gives individuals a language with which to articulate their thoughts, as well as provide continuing insights outside therapy.

Depression:

Undoing Depression Richard O’Connor, Ph.D
This is an excellent overview of depression, well explaining its symptoms, causes and methods for treatment, including approaches on psychotherapy, and medications.

Unstuck by James Gordon, MD.
An outline of tools and processes to treat depression using alternative and complementary medicine concepts.  What is unique about this book is that it expands on many western, medical, concepts around depression by utilizing Eastern philosophies, mindfulness, nutrition and exercise.

Relationships

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic by Esther Perel.
This book succinctly captures and explores many of the common dissatisfactions with romantic components of married and relational life, especially the waning of passion and sexual interest.

Parenting After Divorce, A Guide To Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Child’s Needs by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D
A concise manual on parenting through divorce. The author offers helpful, practical, suggestions around communicating with your now co-parent, how to help your children cope with the circumstances and changes that take place in divorce, as well as how to meet the challenges of being a single parent.

Affairs: A Guide to Working Through the Repercussions of Infidelity by Emily M. Brown.
This book gives an excellent overview not only of affairs and infidelity itself, but the dynamics surrounding them, as well as helpful guidelines towards resolving and growing from these painful, complex and confusing situations.

Sex:

Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman, M.D.
A very compassionate, well written, and informational book on sexual abuse.

Don’t Call it Love by Patrick Carnes
Carnes is considered one of the foremost experts on sexual addictions. This book lays out the causes and effects of sex addiction and how it is to be treated

Arousal, The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies by Michael J. Bader
This book presents some of the psychoanalytic thinking about sexual fantasies for both professionals and anyone curious about the roots of sexuality.

The Practice of Psychotherapy

Between Client and Therapist by Michael Kahn
Explores the most important aspect of psychotherapy, the relationship between the client and therapist, traces the history of the clinical relationship from Freud to present.

The Family Crucible: The Intense Experience of Family Therapy by Augustus Y. Napier, Ph.D., with Carl Witaker, M.D.
Possibly the ultimate book on Family dynamics in the context of family therapy.

The Heart and Soul of Change by Mark Hubble, Barry Duncan, Scott Miller
This books breaks psychotherapy down to its basic components, and discusses these through research, studies and clinical experience. It distills and reexamines many of therapy’s myths and common beliefs. An excellent read for the beginning psychotherapist and those who are interested in the process and workings of psychotherapy

Humanistic Psychotherapy by Albert Ellis
This book offers a nice blending of Ellis’ Rational Emotive Therapy and the Humanistic Approach. It is clearly written and in a manner that offers the reader both understanding and a rational to reframe the ways in which they think and contextualize their problems.

Men’s Issues

I don’t want to talk about it: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real.
This book presents and explores the difficulties men have expressing themselves and engaging in intimate relationships. The author draws from his personal experience, as well as many years in clinical practice working with men and couples.

Personal Growth

Transitions, Strategies for Coping with the Difficult, Painful and Confusing Times in Your Life by William Bridges.
An essential guide book for anyone going through a change or major life transition. The author breaks these changes up into stages and provides suggestions as to what to expect during these stages and how to make the best of them in view of the overall transition.

Related Fiction

Counseling for Toads, A Psychological Adventure by Robert de Board
A play on the classic The Wind in the Willows, it actually explains counseling as a method of dealing with psychological distress with admirable clarity.

The Book Of Daniel by E.L. Doctrow.
An interesting narrative depiction of an individuals splintered identity and search for reintegration through story.