Larry O’Connor, Marriage and Family Therapist
I’m real, and committed to what I do, not pretentious, or aloof. My style is active, collaborative. I understand by listening, asking questions, and clarifying whether I’m getting a person, and a sense of their concerns. I believe therapy is a mutual, though limited, relationship for the benefit of the individual or couple I’m working with. Because of this investment, I like to get to know the people I work with, and where it’s relevant and appropriate, open to letting people know me. I’ve never related to the notion I’m paid to hear people’s problems. I experience people and their concerns constructively, and recognize how they are capable of realizing what they want. People I’ve work with have often expressed I get their nuances, and that they’re treated as equals working with me.
“The right to express our thoughts means something only if we are able to have thoughts of our own.”
I encourage couples to balance recognizing individuality with maintaining connectedness, and help deepen their involvement in the relationship and commitment to themselves.
Because relationships define much of who we are, understandably we have difficulty maintaining our sense of self in relationship. I commonly hear couples resign themselves to, simply accepting their partner’s differences. However, this essentially disregards each other’s individuality and integrity, and neither are being recognized, understood, appreciated or actually accepted. If our individual values aren’t part of the values of our relationships, then little of ourselves are invested in it—or our partners.
In my experience, “intimacy” is typically code for “sex,” as a result its potential for continuing individual and mutual growth goes unrealized. Accepting our partners for who they are is essential, but not at the expense of ourselves, or each of us actualizing who we are. When a relationship’s intimacy includes fostering each other individually, as well as mutually, a couple’s investment and involvement in their relationship is more rewarding, and thus, better.
My Specialties Include:
- Improving Relationships and Communication
- Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting
- Successfully Managing Depression and Anxiety
- Finding Individual Meaning and Purpose in Life
- Making Successful Transitions
- Men’s Issues & Men in Relationships
- Addressing Substance Abuse, and Addictions
Theories I draw from:
- Existential psychotherapy
- Humanistic psychology
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
- Interpersonal psychoanalysis
I have offices both in San Francisco and Palo Alto.
I always encourage you to read or post reviews on Yelp.
“Sanity is only that which is within the frame of reference of conventional thought.”